I’ve met a lot of people in leadership positions who exhibit decisiveness. You know the decision-making style: a problem arises; we take in the information; we make a decision to take action. It is an important trait of a good leader and that’s what we are being paid for…right? Whether in an organizational or personal setting, I admire decisiveness. I personally am much better at it in an organizational setting than when left to my own devices…but that’s a story for another time.
When we are in charge, it is expected that we have–or be able to find–the answers at our finger tips. That’s why we get paid the big bucks, right? Admitting “I don’t know” puts us in a very vulnerable place…”What am I paying you for if you don’t know?” “Why should I do what you say if you don’t know?” “If you don’t know then no one else does either and we are doomed!”
What if we are honest enough about the limits of our own capabilities and own up to “I don’t know.” And then turn this statement into something very empowering: “I don’t know…but I will find out.” The difference here is a process. “I don’t know” is a finite knowledge state. “I know” or “I don’t know” relies heavily on the “I” to be the arbiter of bits of swirling information. While I believe that one of the signs of a good leader is taking responsibility for their decisions, I also believe that those decisions are not solo endeavors.

The Vitarka Mundra hand position represents "discussion" (photo by Rigmarole/flickr.com, Creative Commons License)
“I will find out” is an active learning state. You now have the latitude to cultivate the best ideas to inform the decision. Now, we are doing what leaders should do–not owning a piece of knowledge (Hail o wise one!) but leading people through a process of discovery and engagement that gets them committed to the outcome (ah! I didn’t know that! And that’s a great idea too! How do we make them both work together to come up with a better answer?). An engaged decision-making process (truly engaged with open and honest, non-attribution communication), creates strength and trust…and far outweighs any temporary discomfort of admitting the unthinkable–that “I don’t know.”
Early in my career I learned this lesson the hard way. We had a big project, we had a deadline. “I’m sure you can get it done,” I was told by the boss. “Of course”. I was nothing if not sure of my own decisions. It was aggressive but doable with the right direction…or so I thought. I created an execution plan…and it sounded darn good to me. I briefed my team on the plan. No questions. I left the meeting to attend to the reports I had to write while the rest of the team got to work.
About 30 minutes later one of my team leaders came by. I asked how it was going.
“Not so well.” (I still give thanks for this brave soul who had the personal fortitude to confront me on my mistakes…I was known for a hot temper back then.)
“Well why not. You all understood the directions. There were no questions. We have got to get this done.”
“We feel that you don’t respect us. You are doing our jobs.”
[whoa! where did that come from?] “What do you mean I’m doing your jobs?” I am more than little annoyed since it was clear I was doing my job finalizing the close-out reports, and they were clearly not doing theirs getting the equipment re-positioned and the inventory completed.
“What I mean is that you made all these decisions about what needs to get done without consulting us. We are the ones who know what it’s going to take to make the deadline. You never included us in the planning. Bottom line is the team leaders don’t think your plan is the best way of doing it so they are dragging their feet.”
My first dose of humble pie. He was right. I hadn’t included anyone else in the planning. “OK let’s get together and fix this.”
I walked into the meeting room, much less cocky than an hour ago. “OK let’s start over. I don’t know everything that is involved here but this is what it needs to look like at the end and here’s how much time we have. How do we get this done and have a quality product at the end? And what do you need for me to do?”
Some things became much easier after that day. I didn’t have to rack my brain to come up with all the answers. I had received “permission” and even respect from my team that it is OK to admit “I don’t know.” And my team saw that I was committed to finding out the best answer by including the right people. What could have been a mutiny of sorts turned into a trust-building experience. My job was to facilitate a process and just give people enough structure and support so they could execute. The project was done with flying colors…and I never again presumed to know it all.

The Book: 
